ODDS AND SODS IN ENGLAND

(1) and (2) The police chase orange bag snatcher down the Mall. But she makes her escape across Green Park

(3) Theatre goers having a beer and a Curry in good old Landan

(4) Grandad's new girlfriend Emily May, in October

HIDDEN TREASURES AROUND IPSWICH

In one month we visited three of the most important, and dynamic cities in the world, Florence, London and Ipwich. Close to Ipswich we found the medieval villages of Lavenham and Laxfield. Both held surprises we had never expected. Lavenham has a large number of well maintained medieval houses as shown in the (photo above), as well as gift shops that were actually interesting and original. Laxfield has a church dating back to 12th Century with a list naming the parish vicars up to the present date. For your information, the church had 42 vicars before Captain Cook set sail to Australia.

The village also had the quaintest pub we have ever visited (see Photos), but better still the pub visit was part of a treat laid on by Bruce and Nicky which included a horse and cab ride around the lovely country side. After the ride (see photos) we tucked into home-made game pie and local ale. A very, very memorable day. The more observant readers will note the remarkable breed of Suffolk horses that actually change colour during the day. This generally occurs after the passengers have had a few ales in the pub.

THE ROLLS’ ROLL UP IN LONDON

London awaited with anticipation, the annual theatre visit of the vintage Rolls clan to the West End. No expense was spared with transport (see photo) and Tess arranged accommodation for the party at her private club near the Mall. The visiting Aussies chose Mama Mia for the group’s entertainment, subtly emphasising their high brow tastes. Major treats of the London visit was the show, which was spectacular, a flight on the London Eye (see photos from below and above) a cruise down the river and a bus tour of the city’s of London and Westminster. At the end of a busy day we visited the National Gallery and were overwhelmed with the paintings on show in the 1800-1900 galleries. Free entry, uncrowded rooms, and a feast of some of the world’s most famous paintings were all completely unexpected.

On the Sunday we strolled through autumn leaves to see the changing of the horse guards. Fourteen new guards mounted on black steeds approached along the Mall to Horse Guards Parade to take up guard duties. With swords and chest armour they were protected by four times as many ‘Bobbies’ who in-turn were escorted by a number of less conspicuous special police with sub-machine guns who presumably were in radio contact with surveillance staff. In practice, nothing was being protected but the pageant fitted the surroundings perfectly.

LITERARY LUNCHEON

Today we rode our very "Cambridge" bicycles to Granchester for lunch in the "Orchard", and so add to the list of English literary giants who have graced this famous tea house.

Rupert Brooke, Virginia Wolf, E.M Forster, Bertrand Russell, and more recently Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath.

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Ah God! To see the branches stir, Across the moon at Grantchester.

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There shall be in that rich earth, a richer dust concealed

A dust which England bore, shaped and made aware

Gave, once, her flower to love, her ways to roam

A body of England's, breathing English air.

I must turn those lines into a poem some day, -- when I get time.

Fish and Chips alas, were cancelled yester eve,

But despair not their loss, for on this day, this famous Saturday

A potato which England bore, shaped and made into a chip

Will, with his piscus lie, their plate to grace

A body of England, eating English fayre

The Hills Road group of poets

I want to ride my bicycle

Under the spreading apple tree

The River Cam

REVERSE MIGRATION

What were these two old chooks doing heading north across the channel in October? The white cliffs of Dover were devoid of bluebirds, the swallows had winged off to Capistrano, and the crows were now to be seen in the thinning woods across the ploughed fields. The explanation is simple! Having bought three vests for the price of two in M&S in London I was instructed “to get the wear out of them”.

Note, it is impossible to buy one of anything anymore in England. You always buy-one get-one free, or buy three for the price of two. One shop in Macclesfield had a notice “Shoes, two for the price of one” which clearly is very convenient for most people.

On our departure from France we experienced first-hand the new British sport of dashing across the channel to load the car up with booze. One satisfied Pommie from Essex had just loaded his estate wagon up with 3000 pounds worth of plonk which he explained cost him only a 30 pound ferry ticket and would last him 6 months. Drinking 6000 pounds worth of plonk a year is clearly a good way of saving money.

However, while wearing my M&S vests out, we do get the pleasure of Friday night fish and chips in Cambridge. Bob Ward OBE and Tortoise, and Technical Director of Marshall Aerospace, is picking them up on his way from work tonight on his bike. Providing his back light is working OK, and he doesn’t end up in the ditch covered in mushy peas, we should each be enjoying a large slab of battered haddock.

Tomorrow, the England rugby team, who initially had odds of 280:1 to win the world cup will be playing South Africa in the final. The college chaps here in Cambridge will be over the moon with a victory. If I had a scarf to go with the vests I would join them.

OUR LAST TOLL ROAD IN FRANCE THE A16

THE WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER FROM THE A16

THE HARROGATE OF SEASIDE RESORTS

Tuesday 16th October

Today we drove from Amboise and found the Harrogate of sea-side resorts at Deauville in Normandy. See the photos below

WE WENT TO SEE-ENNA

Wednesday 10th October

Today we went to See Enna. She was as helpful as Florence and all the other cities in providing advice on tourist car parking. After some very tense moments, some last second directions from the male navigator, concerning a one way street and a policeman, then an embarrasing retreat to the starting point, we finally located a car-park within spitting distance of the cathedral.

The cathedral was a rapturous feast of marble inside and out, and far too detailed and extensive to appreciate and absorb in a short visit. The marble floor, which was carved over a period of 500 years, is only uncovered from the end of August to the end of October each year to preserve the detail,so we were very privileged to see it.

The next most impressive architectural experience was the Plaza del Campo. The plaza is famous for an annual horse race around the square’s perimeter.

Inspired by the visit, She who initiated the renaissance in fitted wardrobes in Australia, has announced that 22 Margate Street, is to be renovated with carved marble floors and a kitchen with marble tops and a marble table. I suspect 500 years for the cathedral was quite quick. The proposed horse race around the back garden was not approved.

THE SQUARE IN SIENNA

Thursday 11th October

Another day another Tuscan town! But wait, this one, Volterra, west of our villa in Le Ville, specialised in carving statues and ornaments from alabaster. Though tempted we purchased nothing, but instead had a leisurely day, supping coffee and inter- netting like a couple of super-annuated nerds.

Friday 12 October

A 4cm to the km map of local Tuscany, and a clearly defined and recommended walking route around San Gimignano (pronounced San Gimignano) should be no challenge to the Cheshire tea walk veterans. WRONG. 80% was perfect [see photo]and the remaining 20% involved touring the local olive groves unannounced and uninvited. Fortunately for us this 20% occurred during siesta, so we crept around the villas without disturbing even the dogs. The reward for this hiking achievement was a foaming Italian beer and three miles of spaghetti.

PART OF OUR WALK NEAR SAN GIMIGNANO

Saturday 13th October.

Wake-up at 6.30, (well climb out of bed 6.30 - Kerry slept very little) then scrambled uovo’s on toast, and with the sun-rising at 7.30, we started our journey back to France.

270 miles and 178 tunnels later we arrived on the French Riviera. Yes, we counted the tunnels. Kerry did 4 hours of driving, and I did the last hour after a short stop for our last Italian Cappuccino. For a novice tunnel-counter, the pressure of counting tunnels was intense. Driving at 130 km/hr on a two lane highway, kept Kerry focussed. At least the cars were all heading one way down the tunnels.

It is a lovely 26 degrees outside and so we will head out to enjoy the October sunshine and a Riviera champagne.

Sunday 14th October

Today we drove a long 760 Kms from Menton to Figeac (pronounced Feejac) through 10 toll roads.

MENTON TO FIGEAC

The instructions to Kerry for leaving Menton was to head to the viaduct and turn left (see photo). Her comment was "How the hell do I get up there?"

PAYING THE ROAD TOLLS

The usual procedure for paying tolls, is to collect a ticket at the start of each section, then pay in cash at the end. Because we have a right hand drive car, the job of collecting and paying for the ticket falls to the navigator.

The short-armed female navigator in the team repeatedly blamed the driver for stopping too far from the pay-station which emphased this anatomical deficiency, and so she decided to get her own back on this drive. The manoeuvre which I assumed was pre-meditated was to drive through the station without stopping and hope that the ticket was removed and the transaction registered before the car demolished the barrier.

Fortunately, taking a lead from the South African Rugby team, the running pass was anticipated by the male navigator, who duly registered a try and both travellers emerged unscathed.

Monday 15th October

We drove North from Figeac to Blois through lovely countryside around Limoges. Blois, in the Loire valley proved a larger town than we had expected, so we turned down the valley and returned to a familiar hostelry in Amboise.

A BOAT TRIP TO CAPRI

She was as sweet as a rose at the dawning

But somehow fate had drawn her to me

And though I sailed with the tide in the morning

my credit balance was lost on the Isle of Capri

CATACLYSMIC EVENT IN ITALY

Monday October 1st 2007

A once in a century event was captured on film by a papparazzi (italian photographer) on Monday 1st October 2007 in the Mediterranean off the coast of Positano. A bikini clad female was recorded swimming in the sea for the first time in known memory. The event coincided with a small volanic eruption at a local hill called Vesuvius. Thousands of tourists are now cancelling trips to the pub in Pompeii which was rather badly damaged in the eruption and are booking swim watch cruises in the hope of seeing if the swim event will be repeated. The photographs below, show the local town of Pompeii completely deserted, the pubs closed and even the famous local theatre with only one patron on Tuesday. All boat companies on the West coast of Italy have reported full bookings for the rest of October.